The Couch

Geezus that's enough fucking tears for one day, huh Nicky? I’m just... I’m trying to understand, baby, I am. Do you even know I’m here? I’m lying right on top of you, in fact, pulling up the dandelions that are growing around your headstone. You should see this thing... it’s got fat little naked cherubs on it. Needless to say, your mother picked it out. Come to think of it maybe you’d like it... it’s simultaneously tacky and absurdly apropos.

Hopefully mommy dearest won’t find out I came to see you. The witch had the audacity to request that I "let you rest in peace" when she came to move your stuff out of "your" apartment. I think she was surprised to see me there. I managed to keep a few things of yours that she didn’t find, but she took just about everything, including that hideous couch that you were so attached to... the one that pokes people in the ass when they sit on it? That threadbare couch was a recreational hazard. I lost three pairs of jeans to it.

God Nicky, as if the apartment wasn’t empty enough already.

...

Pretty spot you’ve got here. It’s a beautiful day, too... what you used to call "sweater-weather", but the sun is pretty warm. The fresh cut grass is starting to make me sneeze. No, I didn’t take my allergy meds, I’m thinking I’m gonna drink myself to sleep tonight. I don’t really know how long I’ve been here but my stomach is starting to growl. I’m gonna go home, curl up in your pajamas with a bag of popcorn and watch, hmmm, maybe "Priscilla..."?

Now see, Nicky, that idea made me smile.